I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
