I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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