i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
