so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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