I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Everyone says I win the strip club
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
