I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize