you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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