I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
