I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i have two assholes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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