God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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