I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
