I need help removing her.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
