They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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