I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
