she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
someone threw a dead crab at me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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