Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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