so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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