Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
