Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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