And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
