batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
