census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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