I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
