More tranny stories later!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
