can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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