I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I need moral support for this bender
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
