I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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