and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
