which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
