is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
