This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
