Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
