I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize