i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i think im in europe. pls send help
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
