Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
