so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
