You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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