I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
