i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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