i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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