My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
