Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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