Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
