You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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