my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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