i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
