Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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