she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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