end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
