I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
