Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
