i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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