Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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