Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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