yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize