why didn't you poke me back
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize