Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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