the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
