i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
