considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
