I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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