If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
